Dr. Taylor Burrowes

If you’re dating for marriage, don’t wait until you’re deeply attached to start evaluating whether someone is actually a good fit.

Attraction and chemistry matter, but they’re feelings. And marriage decisions require more than feelings.

You need to assess character, relationship capacity, compatibility, patterns, relational risk and let your level of trust, access, investment and commitment follow the evidence.

That’s what vetting for marriage actually is: relational due diligence before you build a future with someone.

Comment “BACKWARDS” if you want the link to my YouTube video explaining this in more detail. I’ll be happy to share it with you.

Dr. Taylor 💛

I think one of the harder parts of vetting someone is actually letting new information change your opinion of them.

It’s easy to keep gathering information when it confirms what you already hoped was true.

The harder part is when you’ve decided someone is wonderful and then they start showing you things that don’t fit.

At that point, you have to ask yourself whether you’re still evaluating the person in front of you or just protecting your preference for the outcome.

If you’ve ever dismissed someone because there wasn’t enough of a spark, or an immediate spark, or gotten way too invested because the attraction was intense…

This presentation is for you.

In this training I explain the Attraction Rating Scale: Hot, Warm, Neutral & Cold and show you how to interpret attraction more accurately.

I talk about:

• why neutral is not the same as cold
• why warm may have more potential than people realize
• why hot attraction can actually make discernment harder
• the difference between immediate arousal and actual chemistry
• how to decide when to rule someone out, keep exploring, or slow yourself down and vet harder

Most people use attraction backwards. They chase heat, dismiss calm and give intensity far more authority than it deserves.

This shows you a better way to read the signs. If you want access, join my YouTube membership at the Workshops + Replays Level here:

Attraction Rating Scale: How to Vet For Chemistry. In this training, I break down the Attraction Rating Scale — Hot, W...

No man sets out to marry the wrong woman.

Usually he just gets attached to a conclusion too early.

He likes her. He’s attracted to her. Things feel easy. He can see a future.

And then instead of continuing to evaluate her, he starts explaining away the things that don’t quite fit.

That’s where men get themselves into trouble.

Because a woman can be lovely and still be wrong for you.

She can be kind and still not have the temperament you need in a wife.

You can have great chemistry and still be badly matched.

You can want the same big-picture things and still be completely different in how you handle pressure, money, family, conflict, responsibility, or disappointment.

The mistake is assuming that because enough things feel right, the rest will sort itself out.

Sometimes it does.

Sometimes those are the exact things you’re fighting about ten years later.

So before you marry her, ask better questions.

Not just “Do I love her?”

But: what have I actually learned about this woman, and am I evaluating what’s in front of me or mostly hoping this works?

Comment QUESTIONS2 and I’ll send you the full 3,000-word article I wrote for men on the questions to ask before choosing a wife.

Dr. Taylor 💛

Sometimes the hardest relationships to leave aren’t the terrible ones.

They’re the ones that are mostly good.

He’s a good person. She a good person. There’s history. There are things you genuinely love. Maybe there’s no obvious betrayal, abuse, or dramatic dealbreaker.

And yet, you keep coming back to the same question:

Is this actually the relationship I want to build my life around?

When you’ve been circling that question for months, more thinking usually doesn’t help. You need a way to separate what’s working from what you’ve been minimizing, rationalizing, or hoping will eventually change.

That’s what I created the Ideal Relationship Formula™️ to help you do.

It walks you through what’s present, what’s missing and what your actual relationship data is telling you.

DM me FORMULA and tell me:

“What’s holding you back from making a decision? What part feels hardest for you?”

Dr. Taylor 💛



Photo credit: Michelle Kay • Arizona Photographer

I was recently asked if I could scale back my Comprehensive Relationship Assessment for a couple who are doing well and heading toward engagement.

And I loved the idea so much that I decided to make it a standard offer.

Most couples wait until something is wrong to seriously assess their relationship.

I’d much rather see more couples do their due diligence before marriage.

Not because you should go looking for problems in a healthy relationship, but because engagement is exactly the time to make sure you understand what you’re committing to.

So I created a Premarital Relationship Review — $500.

It’s for couples who are generally confident about moving forward but want an additional layer of clarity before engagement or marriage.

Both partners complete targeted assessments and written materials independently beforehand. I review and compare the findings before we meet, then we have a private 60-minute session focused on the areas most worth understanding or discussing.

We look at things like personality, attachment, compatibility, relationship expectations and competencies, areas of alignment and meaningful differences, and anything that may warrant further conversation before marriage.

You inspect the house before you buy it, review the contract before you sign it, conduct due diligence before making a major investment.

Choosing a spouse deserves at least as much intentionality.

I’m excited to roll these out for more couples in love who want to take a more responsible approach to their vows.

Learn more here: https://calendly.com/drtaylorburrowes/premarital-review

*This is an educational and consultative service, not therapy or mental health treatment. My analysis is informed by my specialized academic training, professional background in marriage and family relationships, and proprietary relational frameworks. I am not acting as a practicing mental health professional or providing diagnosis, treatment, or clinical recommendations through this service.

I’m curious where people draw the line between settling and making an informed tradeoff.

Because realistically, nobody gets everything they could possibly want in a spouse.

You’re going to choose some limitations.

The question is whether you chose them consciously or slowly talk yourself out of wanting something because you became invested in the relationship.

A good man can still be the wrong husband for you.

So where do you draw the line?

When does reasonable compromise become settling?

Dr. Taylor 💛