light_in_yoga_

My heart is shattered into a million pieces💔
Today we said goodbye to our beloved Lola, at home, on her favorite couch, surrounded by the people who loved her most.
For years, she lived with a devastating disease, but she never let it define her. She faced every challenge with quiet courage and never stopped filling our lives with joy.
Lola was made of love. She changed us. She taught us how to love more deeply, how to be softer, and how much happiness can live in the smallest everyday moments. She was also a beloved part of my yoga community. She greeted every student with kisses, made everyone feel welcome and truly believed it was her very important job. She welcomed hundreds of students over the years and I know many of them walked through my door looking forward to seeing her just as much as they were looking forward to seeing me. For nine unforgettable years, she was our family, our constant companion, our emotional support, and such a huge part of our home and our lives.

I don’t know how to begin learning to live without Lola. But I know how incredibly lucky we were to have her, to love her, and to be loved by her.
Goodbye my beautiful girl. You were so deeply loved, and you always will be ♥️😭

People often tell me I don’t look 54 and of course it’s nice to hear. But lately that’s not what I’ve been thinking about.

I’ve been thinking about energy.. And only now am I truly beginning to understand its value. The very thing we give away so easily when we’re younger because we assume there’s always more of it. And then one day you realize there isn’t.

After fifty a different kind of awareness arrives. You begin to realize that life is not endless. I work with older adults in rehabilitation centers and I see it every day.

That’s where I learned that our greatest wealth is not money or possessions. It’s time. And energy.

And I’ve become much more careful about where I spend both.

On people who leave me feeling drained. On conversations that aren’t genuine. On places I don’t really want to be. On trying to be everything for everyone.

I have regrets. When I was younger, I gave my energy away too easily. I said yes when I wanted to say no. I did things because they seemed right, because they were expected, because they looked good from the outside.

Recently I found myself thinking about how many women spend years living for everyone else while slowly forgetting themselves. Always giving, always adjusting, always pleasing. And one day they no longer recognize what brings them joy.

As I’ve gotten older, I care less about seeming and much more about being.

Being around people who allow me to be myself. Being where I can breathe. Being honest with myself. Not wasting precious energy on things that don’t nourish my soul.

Maybe that’s one of the gifts of getting older. Realizing that you don’t have to be everything for everyone. And finally giving yourself permission to live your own life.