10/07/2025
I was going to post this video a few days ago but I was continuing to sit with the decision.
I almost didn’t post it because I was getting excited about creating again and just jumping right back on the horse.
“I don’t need the break!” I told myself.
But that’s an old pattern. Not allowing my self true space, a true separation, to feel what it’s like to be away from this medium of creating and being witnessed.
Fear of the space I’ll have when I’m not spending time scripting, editing videos and thinking about creating content.
How will I fill that time?
What will I find out about myself?
These questions must be explored.
There’s also probably a lot of unconscious self sabotaging that has been perpetuated by being a constant performer on Instagram for over 6 years.
It may seem like I already show up very authentic already (and I hope I do because I’ve worked hard to be honest and truthful), but internally there’s so still much tension and second-guessing and friction between needing to make money and just creating art and I wanna take this time to see if I can transmute that friction and move through it once and for all.
(Or maybe there is no “once and for all” but at least step into a much more expanded version of it)
I’m not even sure 1 month is enough time. But it’s a start.
I’ll definitely keep writing, so to subscribe to the newsletter, you can comment SGNEWS
Not sure about this, but might be sharing live contemplations on the pod. If you’re interested in that, you can comment SGPOD
See you in a month or so!
With love,
Matt
