Dr. Michael Gervais

The real fix for caring what people think isn’t caring less about people, it’s redrawing who gets a vote.

Love other people, but just not give a s**t what they think about you.

What they’re sharing with you, it’s more their business than it is your business.

Build a real inner circle, the people who know your scar tissue and get real weight.

Everyone else gets love, not a vote.

Who you’re becoming stops being a referendum the moment you decide whose opinion actually counts.

Chasing a goal you don’t control quietly strips you of your power.

Winning is always out of one’s control.

We dilute our efficacy when we set our minds on things that aren’t in our control.

My fix: Set three goals a day, 100% under your control.

Not “I have to win”, just staying honest and connected to what’s actually yours to master.

The winning tends to show up anyway; it’s just never the thing you’re aiming at.

Self-talk is built around one image: standing at the top of a waterslide, holding the bar, not sure which way it’s about to go.

Upstream, ready for the rapids, and in the complete throes, there’s three distinct moments of self-talk.

You’re going to be fine and it’s important you face your fears and listen to yourself.

Sometimes the most courageous thing is to take a break and reattack tomorrow.

Fear doesn’t show up once. It shows up at every stage of the ride, and the words you need change depending on which one you’re in.

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Small, soft, easy to forget you’re wearing them. Built for one thing: sleep.

Designed for sleep. Nothing else.

Link in bio.

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A whole new standard. I love what they’re doing and think you will too.

Hot take: Most marketing works the same way freshman psych class does, make someone see themselves in the problem, and they’ll believe they have it.

When marketers and sales folks are creating the problem, you’re actually inviting part of somebody’s psychology to see themselves as part of that problem.

That’s the whole design of it.

One Fortune 250 leader flipped it entirely: skip the problem, paint only what’s possible, and invite people to imagine themselves already there.

That single shift became the model for how he wanted to live, too.

Loved this conversation with Matt Abrahams on Finding Mastery

A problem I see quite often is kids tend to fuse their identity with their skill.

It’s called identity foreclosure.

When we foreclose our identity at a young age, it gates off all the other possibilities and potentials you have to explore.

Miss the ball, and it’s not just a failed swing, the brain reads it as proof you don’t matter.

That’s why the highest performers so often carry the highest fear: the game was never just the game.

There’s a study where people were left alone with nothing to do, and given the choice, they’d rather shock themselves than sit with their own thoughts.

“We really don’t want to be with ourselves. When given time, we find ways to fill it.”

“Busy” isn’t just a schedule problem, it’s often the socially acceptable way of avoiding a room alone with yourself.

Real freedom starts with facing the dragons you’ve been outrunning with activity.

We front-load training for everything: the speech, the pitch, the sprint.

So why do we still treat the mind as the one thing you just show up and hope works?

Here are the questions I would ask an athlete:

-Does he have a pre-performance routine?
-Is he using mental imagery?
-A breathing strategy?
-A way to coach himself?

Those are all very simple skills that anybody can go learn — nobody has a lock on them.

The body gets a training plan.

The mind gets left to chance, and on race day, the difference isn’t talent, it’s whether your self-talk backs you or buries you.