Lessmemoregod

PART 2 | I LIVED TO DECLARE IT. 🫀

There are some scriptures you read differently after you’ve lived through something that could have changed the entire course of your life.

“I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.” Psalm 118:17 KJV

For years, I’ve shared my testimony and thanked God for keeping me. But going back through the details has reminded me that survival is more than simply making it to the other side. Sometimes it’s not until you look back that you realize just how much God sustained you while you were in the middle of something you didn’t fully understand.

At 22, I couldn’t see 37.

I couldn’t see the woman I would become, the lives my testimony would touch, the ministry that would come from my experiences, or the day I would sit down and tell this story in this much detail.

But God could.

There was purpose on the other side of what I was surviving, even when I couldn’t see it yet.

And maybe that’s for somebody watching this series right now. You may be in a chapter where you can’t see beyond what you’re currently enduring. Your present circumstances are real, but they do not get to write the final chapter of your story.

Fifteen years later, Psalm 118:17 isn’t just a verse I can quote.

I’m living it.

And there’s still another layer to this testimony, because eventually I had to look beyond what happened to me physically and confront some things spiritually that I didn’t understand at 22.

Part 3 goes there. 🕊️

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I’ve told this story for the past 15 years…but I’ve never told it like this.

Every year, I’ve acknowledged what happened to me today, 15 years ago at 22 years old and thanked God for allowing me to still be here. But there’s a difference between saying “I survived” and actually taking people back into the chapter you survived.

This time, I’m opening the records.

I’m sharing the details.

I’m giving context to the parts of my testimony that could easily be summed up in a few sentences, but took months of my life to actually live through.

And as this series unfolds, I’m going to share not only what happened, but what I understand differently 15 years later.

Over time, your testimony doesn’t change, but your understanding of what you survived does and the revelation that comes with it.

This is Part 1 of a story I’ve told many times, just never at this depth.

And trust me…there’s more.

Follow | Your Kingdom Trauma Coach 🕊️ for conversations about trauma, healing, identity, spiritual freedom and what it looks like to let God bring meaning to the chapters you survived.

If Netflix made a documentary about my life, this would be one of the episodes I never thought I’d live to tell.

In 2011, at just 22 years old, my heart was beating 266 times per minute over a span of time. I was diagnosed with atrial tachycardia, hospitalized, and eventually underwent a cardiac ablation.

But what these medical records don’t document is the spiritual journey that caused me, years later, to look back at this season very differently.

During college, I had joined a secret society/sorority and entered into agreements, oaths, rituals, and affiliations that I did not fully understand through the lens of my faith at the time. As I grew in Christ, left a church cult, and was baptized in the Holy Ghost God was coming for everything I was deceived about. I became convicted about what I had participated in and what I believed I had spiritually come into agreement with.

I began renouncing those agreements, in 2020 and eventually I formally renounced and denounced my affiliation in writing in 2022.

That journey taught me something I will never forget:

Be careful what you come into agreement with.

Not everything presented as sisterhood, brotherhood, tradition, achievement, prestige, access, or opportunity should automatically receive your yes. Scripture warns us that our battle is not merely against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of wickedness. (Ephesians 6:12)

I cannot tell you that a medical chart can prove a spiritual cause for what happened to my heart. It cannot. But I can tell you what I came to believe through my own spiritual journey: there were agreements I had made that I no longer wanted any part of, and when God began opening my eyes, I chose to renounce them completely because death was knocking at my door.

Some doors aren’t worth what is standing behind them.

Some covenants aren’t worth the connections they promise.

Some opportunities cost more spiritually than you realize when you first say yes.

Ask questions. Read the Word. Pray. Discern. And understand what you are agreeing to before you covenant yourself to anything.

My story didn’t end in that hospital room.

I survived.
I renounced.
I walked away.
And now I warn others.

“Neither give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:27 KJV

What I once participated in without understanding, I now have the responsibility to speak about with understanding.

This is part of my Exodus. And there are some things God delivers you from so you can turn around and warn somebody else. 🕊️🔥

So in closing with this series….here’s what shifts everything: God never intended for you to be the one holding it all together.

He is the source, which means He is also the sustainer. The calling He placed on your life, the gifts He deposited in you, the work He's unfolding through you, none of it depends on your ability to maintain it. It rests on His.

You don't have to be enough because He already is.

"God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8

Stop measuring yourself against the assignment. Start trusting the One who gave it.

Follow for encouragement rooted in God's Word, because your faith was never meant to run on empty.

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Less of me. More of God. John 3:30

Not every heavy thing in your life is a trial from God. Some of it is the weight of what He never asked you to pick up.

When something is God-ordained, the grace shows up with it. The provision makes a way. Even when it's hard, there's a peace underneath that you can't explain. But when we run ahead of God; chasing our own vision, our own timeline, our own idea of what our life should look like, we carry it alone. And it shows.

Before you ask God to sustain it, ask Him if He gave it.

"I am he who will sustain you." Isaiah 46:4

That promise belongs to what He ordained. Walk in that.

Follow for truth that challenges you to grow deeper in your identity and assignment in Christ.

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Less of me. More of God. John 3:30

God didn’t just call you. He is committed to you.
So when He charged you to start, He also included what you needed to sustain the assignment.
He doesn’t just give you grace. God makes it abound toward every single thing He’s called you to.

Four scriptures hold weight to one unshakeable truth: whatever God ordains, His character will sustain.

📖 Philippians 1:6 | Hebrews 13:5 | Isaiah 46:4 | 2 Corinthians 9:8

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Less of me. More of God. John 3:30

Here me!!!!! You didn’t pick up that calling by accident, and you’re not supposed to carry it alone.

God’s character doesn’t change once He hands you the assignment. The same faithfulness that moved Him to give it is the same faithfulness holding it together right now. His presence goes with His purpose.

So if you’ve been white-knuckling something God gave you, trying to sustain it in your own strength, this is your reminder to exhale. He began it. He will finish it.

“He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6

Follow for faith-building encouragement that reminds you who God is and who you are in Him.

🔖 Save this for the next time you feel like giving up.

Less of me. More of God. John 3:30

To the one who feel as though they lost a genuine friendship with no idea why.
Or the one who poured so much into a friendship only to watch that person’s heart slowly change and drift away.

Both of those losses are real. Both of those griefs are valid. And in both situations you may have walked away asking, what did I do wrong?

But here is what God wants you to know:

🌿 Some exits have nothing to do with your failure, or what you have going on, but everything to do with God’s purpose. Some people can’t be apart of your healing journey or the next season. It doesn’t mean they are right or wrong. Being mature will allow you to see that it’s not personal.

🌿 Also, a heart that changed toward you was never fully yours to keep. Times and seasons happen to us all.

🌿 An unanswered why is sometimes God’s mercy keeping you from a truth that would have hurt worse. In His time He will make it make sense.

🌿 it may feel like loss but it’s just God removing what He could see and you couldn’t

You did all you could do. You showed up. You tried. And that was enough.

Now it’s time to release the weight of it. Grieve what was real. Forgive what was painful. Stay pure in heart. Stay prayerful. And trust that what God removed was making room for something and someone He has specifically prepared for your next season.

And even if none of these reasons fit your situation, God is still working things out for your good. Some relationships end and it’s brutal, but God judges everyone justly so let Him fight for you. The loss was real. But so is God’s protection. And so is what’s coming.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Isaiah 43:19 “See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

Less of me. More of God. Even in the seasons that ended without warning. 🙏🏾

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