Momma Loudon

There is no switch to flip when your child turns 18 that magically turns them into a capable adult.

Capable adults aren't created overnight. They're built through thousands of tiny moments that begin long before they can even talk.

One of the simplest things you can do?
Invite your children to be with you as you live your life. Cook together. Fold laundry together. Grocery shop together. Fix things together. Clean together.

And while you do...
Narrate your thinking out loud.
Tell them what you're doing. Tell them why you're doing it. Explain what you're noticing. Talk through the decisions you're making.

I actually started doing this while I was still pregnant.
Do babies understand? Of course not.
But we know that the language children hear in their earliest years helps shape vocabulary, reasoning, and the developing architecture of their brains.

More importantly, over time they're also absorbing how to think, solve problems, plan ahead, and navigate everyday life…the building blocks of executive function.

As they grow, give them opportunities to practice alongside you. Then gradually hand over more responsibility.
Confidence isn't built by telling children they're capable.
It's built by collecting evidence that they are.
One successful repetition at a time.

Save this for later and send it to a parent who's raising future adults. ❤️
Follow for practical, research-backed ways to raise capable, resilient kids.

Back me up in the comments if you have ever hiked with my husband. It feels like a life or death situation. 😂

It’s always an “easy” hike.

The summit is always “just around the next corner ”

He is a LIAR!!!

783 “just around the next corners” later, we finally made it. 😂😂😂

It was worth it.

But, seriously…why does it always feel uphill both ways?!? 😂

✅

When your 7 year old provides your whole family instant street cred. 😂Jericoacoara, Brazil sunset capoeira

If you are striving to be an intentional parent…

Welcome!❤️

Strong families aren’t built by accident. They’re built through thousands of small, everyday decisions that shape the culture of a home.

If we haven’t met, I am Momma Loudon…mom of 9 kids with a master’s degree in Business and Leadership.

My goal online is to help strengthen families by mentoring parents in their roles.

Here you’ll find practical tools to help you raise children with character, responsibility, emotional intelligence, resilience, and a heart for serving others…so they grow into capable adults. Future leaders who contribute to the world around them.

If that’s the future you’re trying to build for your family, I’d love to have you here.

Tell me in the comments:

What’s one value you’re intentionally trying to instill in your children?

In my last video I explained what executive function is and why it’s one of the most important skills you can teach your children for their future success.

I posted that video in the middle of the night…and not many people saw it. So…If you missed it, you’ll want to check that one out.

We are currently in Brazil teaching free entrepreneurship courses…providing the education, skills, tools, and mindset required for our students to lift themselves out of generational poverty.

On the first day of class, we divided everyone into teams, and gave each team a single pebble.

Their challenge?

Go into the streets and trade that pebble for something bigger or better.

Then trade again.
And again.

After three trades, they had to sell whatever they ended up with and try to make at least R$50.

It’s hard enough to trade something of NO value.

It’s even harder when you don’t speak the language.

But my kids were champs. They each went on a different team and
got a master class in rejection therapy and emotional regulation.

They took initiative, planned, solved problems in real time, and adapted when their plan didn’t work. They worked hard and were persistent.

This is executive function in action.

In the end, every team was able to reach their financial goal.

What I love about experiences like this is that reaching the goal isn’t the biggest lesson.

The byproducts of the effort put in to reach the goal is the greater lesson.

Learning…

“I can do hard things.”
“I can figure things out.”
“I can survive being uncomfortable.”

And every time a child proves that to themselves, they collect another piece of evidence that they are capable.

That’s how confidence is built.

NOT through participation trophies and empty praise. NOT through rescuing them and removing difficulties from their lives.

But through giving them opportunities to do things they weren’t sure they could do. Stretching their current capacity. Having them do hard things…and learn they DO have what it takes.

This week, that looked like…
One pebble.
Three trades.
And some courage to get out of their comfort zone.

The byproduct? Another rep in building their executive function muscles.

Let me introduce you to Isaac because the world just needs to know who this dude is.

When he decides he wants to learn something, he doesn’t dabble. He sets goals and goes all in.

When he wanted to learn to play piano, he would sit and work on just a few measures of a song for as long as it took him to master it.

When he decided he wanted to learn to play guitar…he sat down and taught himself.

When we moved to the desert, he decided to join the school mountain bike team and rode alone in the desert, 50 to 100 miles at a stretch, to build up his strength to compete and win.

He taught himself to speak Portuguese…we didn’t even know.

In the application he was required to submit to volunteer for a mission after high school, he clicked the box that said he spoke a foreign language.

I was like, ‘Isaac! Loudons do NOT lie! I don’t care how badly you hope to get sent internationally…you can’t lie about speaking a foreign language.’

He looked at me funny and then clicked the next box and selected ‘Portuguese’ as the language he spoke.

Again, I was like, ‘ISAAC! NO!!! No kid of mine will be dishonest.’

He looked at me funny again and clicked the next button…stating he was willing to take a verbal exam.

Then he proceeded to blow my mind and speak almost perfect Portuguese, passing the test at an advanced level…allowing him to completely skip the weeks of language training required of anyone who is a non-native speaker in their assigned location.

When we moved here, the school told us high school sophomores couldn’t take their college biology class. The class was too hard and reserved only for seniors.

We talked them into letting him in the class

He not only aced the class, he won the Science Department Student of the Year award.

AND…at the same ceremony…the Student of the Year award in the Entrepreneurship Department…

All while working, competing on the mountain bike team, and starting & leading the service club at his high school.

He decided to join DECA on a whim…and won at the school, district, region, and state level.

He was promoted and given leadership positions in every job he ever worked.

He earned his associate’s degree before graduating high school.

And two months after high school graduation, he flew alone to Angola, Africa to volunteer full-time for two years.

For eight months he served as Assistant to the President on his mission, helping train and lead.

We got to go to Angola when he finished serving, and I learned more about leadership in the ten days following him around than in the leadership courses I took in my master’s program.

He came home last year and has paid for everything himself…tuition, rent, food, car, books…all while working and going to BYU full-time.

This summer he’s doing summer sales for the first time. Since his first week, he has ranked second out of every rookie in the entire company nationwide.

But honestly? It doesn’t surprise me. He is instant friends with everyone and his character is evident…people know immediately they can trust him.

He once called me from Angola to thank me for not giving him screens or video games growing up, so that he could choose to spend his time doing things that actually mattered for his growth and development.

This kid has no comfort zone.
He just has goals.
Most people want the outcome but not the process.

He falls in love with the process and goes after his goals without needing anyone to know.

He loves God.
He loves people.

He takes care of himself so he always has something to give to someone else.

Isaac has learned how to govern himself with more self control, delayed gratification, and consistency than anyone I know.

One of the greatest joys of parenting is watching your children surpass you in every way…Becoming people you genuinely look up to.

Isaac, I am so proud of the man you’ve become. You have made being a mom the greatest privilege of my life. Happy 21st bday from across the world. Love you forever.

One of the most common parenting mistakes today is parents confusing “love” with doing everything for their child.

We love our children so much that we rush to solve every problem, remove every negative emotion and obstacle, prevent every failure, and eliminate every discomfort.

While that may “FEEL” loving, it is robbing your child of developing executive function.

And if you're a parent, you should care about that!

Because executive function is one of the strongest predictors of whether a child will one day successfully navigate adulthood.

In simple terms, executive function is your brain's management system.
It's the ability to plan.
Prioritize.
Control impulses.
Manage emotions.
Follow through on commitments.
Adapt when things don't go according to plan.
And solve problems.

In other words...
Executive function is what turns their potential into action.

Research consistently shows that traits like self-control, persistence, delayed gratification, emotional regulation, and conscientiousness often predict academic achievement, career success, financial stability, and relationship outcomes as well as…or sometimes better than…IQ.

We've all met incredibly intelligent people who struggle to successfully manage their lives.

And we've all met people of average intelligence who accomplish extraordinary things because they are disciplined, dependable, resilient, and willing to do hard things.

That's executive function.

Now here's the interesting part.
I don't think we intentionally taught our children executive function. I didn’t even know what that was a decade ago.

However, we created a culture of responsibility and empowerment/ownership…
And executive function was a natural byproduct of that.

When people hear responsibility, they often think chores.
And yes... chores matter. I have whole series of videos on that.

But responsibility without empowerment simply creates compliance.

Responsibility combined with empowerment creates capability.

Our kids have always been expected to contribute.

They help solve real problems.
They contribute to the family.
They interact with adults.
They travel.
They teach.
They notice and serve others around them.
They experience natural consequences.
They are trusted with real and meaningful responsibilities.

And perhaps most importantly...
We don't rush in to rescue every discomfort. Instead we intentionally scaffold their growth and develop through stretching them from where ever their current capacity is.

I think one of the greatest barriers to executive function today is that adults have become their children's executive functioning system.

We remind.
We organize.
We pack.
We track.
We solve.
We rescue.
We manage.

And while we're exercising our executive function...

Our children aren't getting the opportunity to develop their own.

Executive function is a muscle that grows through practice.

Children develop problem-solving skills by solving problems.
They develop self-control by practicing self-control.
They develop resilience by facing challenges.
And they develop confidence by collecting evidence that they can handle hard things.

The goal isn't to raise children who are always comfortable or “happy”.
The goal is to raise children who are capable.
Because capable children become capable adults.

And I think executive function is one of the most valuable gifts we can help them develop.

My favorite part of traveling isn’t the attractions…

It’s the people.

We are currently in a Brazil… and tonight we got invited into the home of someone we had not even met to watch Brazil play in the World Cup.

Different backgrounds. Different languages. Different life experiences.

But for 90 minutes, none of that mattered.

We cheered together.
We laughed together.
We celebrated together.

The best memories aren’t made at tourist attractions.

They’re made sitting shoulder to shoulder with people…sharing an experience you’ll never forget.

And if you’ve ever watched Brazilians watch Brazil play soccer…

You know it’s not just a game. 🇧🇷⚽️