Leadership Thoughts

Most leaders think their job ends the moment they hand something off. It doesn't.

On this week's Leadership Unlocked, I talked with David Stupay, a five-time CEO whose path runs from a homeless shelter to a year in East Africa to executive search. His take on delegation is worth the listen. Handing off a task doesn't hand off the responsibility. You still own moving it from here to there.

One story sticks. David asked a bishop for a sink and got one with no running water. Turns out specificity is a leadership skill.

Links to listen are below -

Think about how many small windows you get in a day. The red light. The line at the store. The minute before a meeting. What do you reach for?

This week on Leadership Unlocked, George Bryant hands Dusty Holcomb one of the sharpest lines we’ve had on the show: most people spend their whole life avoiding the one relationship they’re guaranteed to keep, the one with themselves.

His point for leaders is simple. You can’t build real connection with your team if you’ve never built it with yourself.

Worth the listen this week:

Escaping the Prison of Prior Conditioning | George Bryant - E67 Podcast Episode · Leadership Unlocked: How Leaders Win in the Era of AI · July 1 · 1h 9m

You sit down with AI, type "do this for me," and what comes back is fine. Not wrong. Just not what you would have done. So you close the window and figure the tool is overhyped.

On this week's Leadership Unlocked, I name what's really going on: you're running the most capable tool you've ever held like software, when you already know how to lead it. You do it with people every day.

The whole reframe fits in four words you can try in your next session: "what would you propose?" Stop commanding it. Start developing it.

Listen here:
https://arcq.us/3QjnL9G
https://arcq.us/4eJL0lq
https://arcq.us/4eJJKic

Most People Use AI Like Software. That's the Problem Dusty goes solo to challenge one of the biggest misconceptions lead...

Ever notice the line outside your door? Same questions, slightly reworded, and nothing moves unless it moves through you.

That’s not a sign you’re needed. It’s a sign you’ve been seeing for people instead of helping them see.

This week on Leadership Unlocked, Dusty Holcomb shares a reframe a CEO gave him in one word: the blacklight. Your job isn’t to hand people the answer. It’s to help them see the dots already on their page. He closes with a simple rule you can run in your very next conversation: ask three questions before you give one answer.

Listen here:

Stop Being the Leader with All the Answers - E65 Podcast Episode · Leadership Unlocked: How Leaders Win in the Era of AI · June 17 · 18m

New conversation just dropped on Leadership Unlocked, and it's one I think every business owner needs to hear.

I sat down with Alex Goldfayn, who has spent years helping companies grow revenue 15 to 30 percent without selling harder. His whole approach comes down to one habit most leaders skip: proactive outreach.

One more call. One more “how can I help you.” One more “what else do you need from us.”

That's it. Simple actions, done consistently, that compound into real growth.

We talked about why the first call is always the hardest, why three calls a day beats any marketing campaign, and how the best companies make this stick when most others fail.

If you lead a team, give this one a listen.

🎙️ Link in comments.

She runs a strong company. Smart team. Profitable. She wanted to know where to go with AI.

She said: "Every time I think about AI, I keep going back to what I already know how to automate. I struggle to get my brain to the next level."

I hear this constantly from senior leaders right now.

Here’s the thing: she doesn’t have an AI problem. She has a framing problem.

Most people are using AI like a search engine. Type in a question, get an answer, move on. That’s using a calculator to do arithmetic. You can do that. The tool is capable of so much more.

The shift that changed everything for me: stop telling AI what to do. Start asking what it proposes.

Ask it: “Here’s the problem. How would you solve it?” Then watch what happens.

It comes back with options you hadn’t thought of. It asks you clarifying questions. It surfaces the gaps in your own thinking.

That’s not a new skill. That’s the same skill you’ve used to lead people for 20 years. You just haven’t applied it to the tool yet.

MIT says 95% of companies have seen zero ROI on AI. The leaders who are different aren’t more technical. They’re just better at leading.

Full piece is in this week’s newsletter. Link in comments.

What’s working for you with AI right now? I’m genuinely curious.

I was running a division of several hundred people. Growing business. Good team. And I was completely, quietly falling apart.

Not in a dramatic way. In that way that high-achievers fall apart. I just kept carrying more. Every decision came to me. Every fire was mine to put out. I told myself it was because I cared.
It wasn't. It was three stories I'd been telling myself for years.

1) The Hero Myth: If I step in, it gets fixed. Reality: every time you swoop in, you teach your team they can't handle it.

2) Imposter Syndrome: One day they'll figure out I don't belong here. Reality: 71% of US CEOs report this. It doesn't disappear when you earn the title. It intensifies. And research from MIT Sloan shows the leaders who experience it most actually outperform their peers under pressure by 13%.

3) The Help-Asking Taboo: Asking for help is weakness. Reality: Harvard Business School research shows that people who ask for advice are perceived as more competent, not less. Especially on high-stakes decisions.

A mentor finally put it plainly. "Why are you stealing opportunities from your team?"

Episode 60 of Leadership Unlocked is about these three stories, the research behind them, and a 20-minute audit that helps you start putting them down.

Listen here:
https://arcq.us/4flSqNr
https://arcq.us/3PBlNRv
https://arcq.us/42yefC4

Honest question for the leaders here: which of these three shows up most for you at work right now? The comments are open👇

arcq.us

The best business advice Mike Milan ever got came from
watching a TV show about hoarding.

During COVID, his wife convinced him to sit down and watch Hoarders.
He ended up watching 15 seasons.

Not because he enjoyed the disorder - but because he couldn't
stop watching how the doctor started every conversation.

The doctor never walked up to the house and said,
"I can see exactly what the problem is."
Even though everyone could see it.
Even though it was pouring out the front door.

Instead, the first thing out of the doctor's mouth was:
"Tell me what I'm looking at."

That one sentence kept the conversation alive.
It gave the person dignity.
It let them name the problem in their own words.
And it surfaced the real issue - the one they were living with -
not the one the doctor assumed from the yard.

Mike calls this the Elevation Sequence.
Find the burning issue. Clear it first.
Because until you address the problem a person feels,
nothing else you say will land.

He unpacks the whole framework in Episode 59 of Leadership Unlocked.
Missouri state trooper to financial jedi to advisor of 25,000+ leaders.
One of the most practical conversations we've had on this show.

Listen link in the comments.

I used to feel guilty about investing in my own development.

You've got people counting on you. Fires to put out. Taking a morning to think or scheduling a coaching session or reading a book about your own growth - somehow that starts to feel indulgent.

That impulse comes from a good place. It comes from a genuine desire to serve.

But here's what I missed for years: when you stop leading yourself, the quality of your leadership declines. At first it's slow. Invisible. But it's absolutely diminishing.

Your clarity gets fuzzy. Your patience thins. Your decision-making gets reactive instead of intentional.

And the people you're trying to serve? They feel it. They may not be able to name it, but they feel it.

I was facilitating a quarterly strategy session recently with a high-performing leadership team. We ran three diagnostic questions that were designed to be about the organization. But the leaders who were being truly honest? They started hearing them as personal questions.

What must change for ME to be the leader I aspire to be?
What pattern keeps repeating IN MY LEADERSHIP?
Where am I saying yes when I should be saying no?

That's the insight I share in Episode 58 of Leadership Unlocked.

Leading yourself first is not a contradiction of servant leadership. It's the prerequisite.

Listen to Episode 58 here:
https://arcq.us/42KmFWI
https://arcq.us/4cYMirS
https://arcq.us/4eUh2wz

Leadership Unlocked: The Stories of Great Leaders The Most Selfish Thing Great Leaders Never Do (But Should)

I asked a CEO to do one thing. He didn't expect what came next.

Last month I was sitting with a CEO who's feeling frustrated. His organization isn't where he wants it to be, and he can't figure out why. He sees the problem clearly. His team doesn't. And he's been waiting for them to close a gap he's never actually described out loud.

I didn't give him a strategy. I gave him an audit.

Pull up your calendar from the last 30 days, I told him. Then answer three questions honestly.

He went quiet.

I've come to believe there are exactly three things only the CEO can own. Culture. Vision. Resource allocation. Everything else can be delegated. These three cannot.

The problem isn't that CEOs don't know this. The problem is the tactical is always loud, the urgent always wins, and most leaders slip into their comfort zone because it feels productive.

But those three pillars don't make noise when they're neglected. They just quietly erode.

Go ahead and check out this week's newsletter https://arcq.us/4mSU22Y

Then block 30 minutes this week. Run the audit yourself. Be honest about what you find.

What does your calendar say you actually believe matters? Comment with the one pillar your calendar says you're most underinvesting in right now. I'll help you stay accountable.

The CEO Time Audit Most Leaders Are Afraid to Run (But Need To!) | Dusty Holcomb I asked a CEO to pull up his calendar from the last 30 days. Why? He's frustrated. His organization isn't where he wants it to be. The gap between where he is and where he's trying to go keeps widening. He sees the problem clearly. His team doesn't. And he's been waiting for them to close a gap he's...