Manca Klinar

Lep čas sem imela težavo, kako razložiti, kaj je coaching. Postavljanje pravih vprašanj v pravem trenutku. In še toliko več. Coaching ni to, da prideš do coacha, poveš, kaj te muči, on ti da rešitev in potem veselo odkorakaš domov. Tudi ni terapija, ker ne koplje po preteklosti in po preteklih čustvenih ranah. Je proces iskanja svojih rešitev v varnem okolju, v spremstvu in pod vodstvom osebe, ki je usposobljena, da te vodi po tej poti, ki je polno prisotna, te aktivno posluša, gleda in čuti, te posluša z radovednostjo in odprtostjo ter je tu zate. Usmerjeno je v ustvarjanje prihodnosti, ki si jo želiš, v odkrivanje in odstranjevanje ovir na tej poti ter črpa (tudi) iz tega, kar se je v preteklosti zate že izkazalo za uspešno. Coach ti tekom tega procesa lahko predstavi možne načine ali svoje dojemanje, a končna rešitev, odločitev je tvoja in tista, ki je najbolj prava zate. In to, s čimer odkorakaš, ni le ta rešitev, je tudi večje zavedanje svoje moči, večja jasnost, drugačno zavedanje sebe … in sčasoma ta način, ki ga izkušaš med coachingom, lahko postane tvoj način delovanja. Če si dovoliš in če si odprt. Če si pripravljen na delo in vztrajen.

Za vse, kar je vredno, se je treba vsaj malo potruditi in nekaj narediti za to. Osebne spremembe, tiste temeljne, globoke, so zahtevne in so proces, ne dogodek. Običajno konkretnih premikov ne zmoremo sami in velikokrat pri zares temeljitih spremembah potrebujemo pomoč, saj sami zaradi vzorcev, v katere smo ujeti, zaradi prevelike povezanosti s situacijo, v kateri smo, zaradi pomanjkanja znanja, izkušenj ali česa drugega težko najdemo tisto distanco, s katere bi realno pogledali na svoje stanje in videli, kaj se dogaja ter si pomagali. Tudi jaz do rešitev nisem prišla sama; knjiga o visoki senzitivnosti je do mene prišla zato, ker sem prosila za pomoč.

Ko pogledam sebe nekaj časa nazaj, vidim, da sem si želela in iskala nekoga, ki mi bo povedal, kaj je zame. Pričakovala sem instant rešitve, nekoga, ki bo imel čarobno paličico in mi odpihnil stran stare vzorce, omejujoča prepričanja, nekoga, ki mi bo povedal, kaj in zakaj je nekaj takšno, kot je, ter mi to pozdravil (ta želja me včasih še vedno obišče, priznam). A tekom izkušenj s coachingom – ko sem bila jaz coach in ko sem bila stranka na tak ali drugačen način – sem ugotovila, da, ko si izgubljen, je zelo dragoceno, da coach s teboj deli svoje izkušnje ali tisto, kar ve, da bi lahko delovalo, da pa je velikokrat moj premik naprej omogočilo to, da mi je oseba na drugi strani vrnila vprašanje. In sem „morala“ pobrskati po sebi, se potruditi in najti tisto, kar čutim, tisto, kar si želim, tisto, kar mislim, da je najbolj prav zame. V prisotnosti nekoga, ki ti drži prostor, zaupa vate in te tudi energijsko podpira, je to lažje.

Sama sem na svoji poti iskanja čarobne paličice ugotovila, da je moja čarobna paličica pravzaprav v mojem zavedanju, v povezanosti s sabo ter v skrbi zase in za to povezanost, v prisotnosti tukaj in zdaj. Ker, ko sem povezana s sabo, v sedanjosti in spočita, je vse mogoče. Tudi postavljanje pravih vprašanj v pravem trenutku.

Radovedna sem: kje ali kaj pa je vaša čarobna paličica? Jo imate ali še iščete?

Pozdravček, Manca

P.S. O visoki senzitivnosti pa je govora na Facebook strani https://www.facebook.com/visokosenzitivnaoseba/. ------------------------------------------

#en

What do I do?

I help individuals solve issues they have or fulfill their goals through a special form of conversation. Using questions and other techniques I support them to find their own solutions and answers to questions that are in their way.

What is coaching?

For quite some time it was difficult for me to explain what coaching is. Asking the right questions at the right moment. And so much more. Coaching isn’t to come to a coach with a problem, they give you a solution and you are happily on your way home. It is also not therapy because it is not dealing with past and emotional wounds. It is a process of finding solutions for your preferred future in a safe space, being accompanied and guided by someone equipped to do so, who is fully present, listens to you actively, observes and feels, is being curious and open, and is there for you. It is directed towards the future you want, uncovering and removing the obstacles to get there and is drawing (also) from what has already worked for you in the past. Through this process, the coach can share some possible ways or their perception of things, but the final solution, the decision is yours, the one that suits you best. And what you walk away with is not just this solution, it is also a bigger awareness of your power, more clarity, different self-awareness … and in time this way of finding your answers and solutions you experience during coaching can become your own way. If you allow it and if you are open. If you are prepared to work and have persistence.

Everything valuable in life requires some effort and action. Personal transformation with those deep and thorough changes is demanding and is a process, not an event. Usually, we cannot do big shifts by ourselves and we need help with those fundamental changes. With being trapped in our patterns and being too close to the situation we lack the distance needed to clearly see where we are at, what is going on and to be able to help ourselves. I haven’t found my solutions on my own, the book on High Sensitivity came to me because I asked for help.

Looking back I can see myself wanting and searching for someone who would tell me what is right for me. I expected quick solutions, someone with a magic wand to blow away my patterns and limiting beliefs, someone who would tell me why something is the way it is and heal it for me (I admit I still get that desire sometimes). Through experiencing the coaching process – being the coach and being coached – I realized something significant. When you are lost it is valuable to have the coach share with you their experience or what they think might work for you. But it was often that I made progress because the coach returned the question. I was “forced” to dig within, make some effort and find what I was feeling, what I was wanting, what I was thinking is best for me. In the presence of someone who holds the space for you, has faith in you and supports you energetically it is easier.

On my quest to find the magic wand I discovered I already have it; it is hidden in my awareness, in my connection to myself, in my self-care and in my care for that connection, in my presence here and now. When I am connected to my inner wisdom, being present and rested, everything seems possible. Also asking the right questions at the right moment.

I am curious: Where or what is your magic wand? Do you have it or are you still searching for it?

EnJOY. Manca

P.S. We talk about High Sensitivity here: https://www.facebook.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-HSP-295479641245859/?ref=br_rs.