Hopeful Essence co

How often does someone say something lovely to you and your immediate response is to reject it 👀

You make a joke, brush it off, tell them they’re being too kind. Then you reactively start giving reasons why what they said can’t possibly be true.

I’ve done it too, believe me! It’s a bloody hard pattern to break but it can be done.

We can be so much better at accepting criticism than we are at accepting someone seeing something good in us.

So the next time someone gives you a compliment try not to argue with it.

Simply receive it. “Thank you.” is more than enough of a reply.

I’ve never really connected with the idea of filling my cup just enough so I can keep pouring it out again.

That sounds exhausting and bit like running on a hamster wheel and getting nowhere to me 🤷🏽‍♀️

For me the aim isn’t to keep topping the cup up before it runs dry.

The goal is overflow 🙌🏼

Things that create that overflow aren’t complicated or cost 💰.

🪄Dates with my ♥️ everyday
Conversations that have nothing to do with work, bills, responsibilities, kids or what needs fixing.
🪄Time with my mokopuna.
🪄Kaupapa I choose to be involved in.
🪄Writing
🪄QT with me ♥️

The things that remind me of myself when I walk away from them.

This is where the overflow comes from.

Once there’s overflow or excess, now sharing with others feels very different.

You’re no longer giving away what you need for yourself and you’re sharing from what is already abundant.

So here’s today’s mindfulness tip:

✨Pay attention to what creates overflow in your life✨

We put a lot of emphasis on getting through hard things. “Bouncing back”

Sometimes getting yourself back to a place where you can actually function feels like a massive achievement AND it is 🙌🏼

There’s a fews questions I ask myself when I’ve come out the other side of something.

Do I recognise anything the experience taught me about myself? (or am I still a bit stuck in blame & shame 👀)

What am I going to do differently now that I know different?

Some experiences change you.

The question is whether you listen to what changed.

Being aware of what you’re saying and why you’re saying it and then recognising when the rest isn’t yours to control 🤷🏽‍♀️

This one is easily gets tossed out the window when a conversation hits a nerve.

Someone says something and before we’ve really taken in what they meant our mind gets in the bloody way and away down a rabbit hole we go. This is can happen fast too, less than 3 seconds!

We hear the words through whatever we’re already carrying. Past experiences, assumptions, hurt, expectations, what we want.
Suddenly we’re responding to something that may not have actually been said at all. Sound familiar?

Mindful communication gives us a little space between hearing something and reacting to it.

That tiny pause can be enough to ask ourselves:

What did they actually say? (Not what I think they meant, because now I’m assuming)

What did they actually say?

This gives us a chance to respond to what is actually happening rather than reacting to the story the mind has created around it.



MindfulRelationships

There are things we inherit along the way in life without really noticing and there are things/emotions/beliefs/patterns we inherit through our lineage.

Expectations of someone else. Something we were told about ourselves. A role we stepped into because someone needed us to. A belief that got handed down and somehow became part our identity.

After a while it can be hard to tell what actually is ours and what we’ve learned to carry.

This is the part I find interesting.

We can spend years trying to change ourselves around something that was never ours in the first place.

Let’s consider the perspective that maybe we don’t need to be adding anything else right now but becoming curious about what’s already within and how we’re carrying it.

Where did this come from?
Who did I learn this from?
Do I still believe this?
Does this actually belong to me?
Do I know that I can release this?

If you’re feeling like you need a little pick-me-up today, try using your breath before reaching for the coffee.

Take a nice full breath in through your nose, then let it out gently. Keep doing that for about 30 seconds, making your inhale a little fuller and more active than your exhale.

It’s a really simple way to bring a bit more energy into your body when you’re feeling a little flat.

You can do this anywhere or whenever you feel like you need a quick reset.

Give it a go and notice how you feel afterwards.

I was having a yarn with someone recently about overthinking and worrying about all the things that might happen particularly when you’re watching your children navigate life and your mind starts creating every possible scenario before anything has even happened.

It reminded me of one of the simplest tools I use when my own mind has wandered a little too far into the future.

✨✨“Bring your mind back to where your feet are.”

When we’re caught up in the what-ifs the mind can very quickly drift off somewhere that our body physically isn’t.

Your feet aren’t in tomorrow. They’re not in next week. They’re right here. They only know presence.

Your body only knows this moment.

So when you notice your thoughts running ahead of you, bring your attention back to your feet and let your mind come back to where your body already is.

Mind and body back in the same place.

It’s a simple little practice and sometimes simple is exactly what we need.