Bardney Panthers Vets F.C

***EXCLUSIVE****

This morning we were able to finally catch up with manager Dan Robert who wanted to release a statement

"In the wake of yesterday's news regarding Lincoln City manager Michael Skubala I saw some reports linking me with his replacement. I wanted to take a minute to say that I am flattered but I will not be leaving Bardney Panthers Vets F.C as I am committed to the project we have started.

That and I was never offered it.

If I'm honest I'd probably leave for a bag of wotsits and a ball pump that works but it takes 2 to tango, you're not still recording are you? Don't leave that bit in."

Bardney Panthers Vets F.C fans were dismayed to read this morning that Captain and leader Antony O'Sullivan has gone on a secret holiday meaning he will miss tonight's training session

The picture below has been studied by local PI Columbo who claims it is definitely not a fake.

We have tried to obtain a comment from manager Dan Robert but we were unable to make contact, leading to speculation that he is also on this unsanctioned holiday.

We will keep you updated if we get any further news.

Player in Focus Sponsored by Nucleus HR

Name?
Paul O’Hara

Age?
48

Football Team You Support?
Liverpool FC

Preferred Position?
Anywhere on the left side

Favourite Football Boot?
Copa Mundial

Highlight of the Season?
Presentation evening

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Beauty therapist

Managers Comments:

Paul – The Veteran Legend

Paul is one of the oldest (and wisest) members of the squad, a true elder statesman who still somehow runs circles around lads half his age. He’s the only Small in the group, tipping the scales at a rock-solid 9 stone p**s wet through, but what he lacks in stature he more than makes up for with heart, lungs, and non-stop banter.

A genuine utility man, Paul can play anywhere and will happily fill any role asked of him. Midfield, defence, attack, goalkeeper on a quiet day — you name it, he’ll do a job.

He’s an absolute engine, putting in big shifts week after week, and despite the more advanced numbers on his birth certificate, he still covers more ground than most. Proper old-school durability.

Off the pitch, Paul is a walking time capsule. He regularly leaves the younger lads baffled with references to TV programmes “they don’t make anymore” and obscure shows you can’t even find on YouTube (that’s the video platform everyone uses to share stuff with the world, Paul).

Technology in general is “too much” for him — so even though this profile is going on Facebook, don’t expect him to see it. He’ll probably hear about it third-hand down the pub and respond with a story from 1978.

Top player, top character, and an absolute asset to the team. Heart of gold, mouth full of banter, and boots full of graft.
Paul, the Small but Mighty. We’re lucky to have you, mate.

We have an unfortunate incident to report from the Bardney Elite Development Centre

Training was suspended for a period of time last night as an unknown person was spotted spying on the guys training.

Midge gave chase but the alleged perpetrator easily got away.

We have had unconfirmed reports that he was there taking pictures of Ben Mannion⁩s blonde highlights he was sporting last night but these are just vicious rumours at this time.

We have brought in crack investigator Angela Lansbury who is investigating and we are unable to comment any further, while we await her full, type written report.

The picture below was captured by a passerby

The club can confirm this morning that the following players have been released at the conclusion of the 25/26 season.

Chris Hall
Chris Wainwright
Jack Draper

The club would like to go on record that they were released before telling us they were going to play for Woodhall Spa. Meaning we were the heart breaker not the broken hearted.

All other players are currently in negotiation with the club as manager Dan Robert works through the exit interviews.

Any further releases will be reported exclusively here. So stay tuned

The Bardney Panthers Vets F.C players aren't just competitive on the field

Here we can only assume they are having a chest hair competition.

No, we do not know why, but as admin we are not paid to ask questions 🤷

Some more from last night.

Pre season training is well under way

Not only were we able to celebrate last night, The Bardney Panthers Vets F.C team raised £345 for the club as a whole.

A small token of our appreciation for the support you have given us.

Picture unrelated, but needed to catch your attention Kim Howells

Captain

Skipper

Motivator

Organiser

The Glue

Congrats on your Players Player award, fully deserved.

Antony O'Sullivan

How it started, How it's going

🎶 SHARPIE SHARPIE SHARPIE🎶