FAT DADS United

13/09/2026

💙⚽ GAV BROADHEAD MEMORIAL TOURNAMENT ⚽💙

What a day. ❤️

Today Fat Dads United were proud to take part in the Gav Broadhead Memorial Tournament, with 6 local teams made up of men, women and children all coming together to remember Gav, enjoy some football and raise as much as possible in his memory.

Today was never about winning or losing.

Which is lucky really, because half of our lads still weren’t entirely sure what formation we were playing.

It was about getting the local community together, having a brilliant day and remembering Gav in the best possible way through football and laughter.

It was great to welcome a few new lads into the Fat Dads group, get them in the shirt and let them experience first-hand what they’ve actually signed up for.

Chief Scout Craig Ramskill spent the day keeping a close eye on potential future recruits. 👀

Only problem was while he was scouting everyone else, he completely forgot what position he was supposed to be playing himself.

Right back one minute.
Centre midfield the next.
Striker whenever he fancied a shot.

The gaffer could’ve put an AirTag on him and still wouldn’t have known where he was meant to be.

Then we had Ezza, who spent the day doing what Ezza does best…

Moaning about absolutely everything.

The pitch.
The ref.
The ball.
The weather.
The substitutions.

If there was something available to complain about, Ezza found it.

Kyle Hall then decided the tournament clearly wasn’t enough exercise for one day, leaving early to catch a flight to Portugal so he could squeeze in a quick 18 holes of golf before flying back tomorrow.

Normal Sunday really. ✈️🏌️‍♂️

Then came Razza…

Concedes a goal and suddenly starts holding his shoulder like it’s completely detached itself from his body.

One minute he’s perfectly fine.

Ball hits the net…

Next thing he’s acting like the paramedics need to locate his arm somewhere near the corner flag.

Miraculously, we expect a full recovery in time for the next game.

And finally…

Matty Cooper.

Nothing to report.

Because he didn’t even bother turning up.

No injury.
No dramatic shoulder.
No flight to Portugal.
No wandering out of position.

Just completely absent.

At this point we’re considering putting his face on a missing person poster and asking the local community if anyone’s seen him.

Standard Cooper.

All jokes aside, a huge thank you has to go to Nath Broadhead for organising the whole day and making it such a success.

The turnout, atmosphere and support showed exactly what our local community is all about.

And most importantly…

💰 £1,219.60 RAISED! 💰

An absolutely fantastic amount and something everyone involved should be proud of.

Today wasn’t about scorelines or trophies.

It was about community.
It was about football.
It was about bringing people together.

And above everything else, it was about remembering Gav Broadhead. ❤️

Thank you to every player, supporter, volunteer and person who donated.

For Gav. Always. 💙⚽

13/09/2026

🏃‍♂️GOOD LUCK AL KINGHORN! 🏃‍♂️

While the rest of the Fat Dads are spending today waddling around a football pitch at the Gav Broadhead Memorial Tournament, defender Al Kinghorn has somehow decided that running 13.1 miles for fun is the better option.

So today Al is swapping his boots for running shoes and taking on the Great North Run in aid of the brilliant SUDEP Action. 💙

Apparently 90 minutes of charity football wasn’t painful enough for him, so he’s upgraded to several hours of running, ni**le chafing and questioning every life choice he’s ever made.

Massive respect though, because he’s doing it for a fantastic cause and any donations would be hugely appreciated.

Good luck Al! 💪
Try not to pull a hamstring before mile 2… we’re already short on defenders as it is.

From everyone at Fat Dads United — go smash it mate! 🏃‍♂️💙

⚽ Facing Adversity Together ⚽

Fundraising for SUDEP Action

10/09/2026

Give this a listen and hear from some of the lads talk about their experience and reasoning for joining the group. ⚽️

Fat Dad’s United tell us how they're making a difference in East Yorkshire 👉🏼https://bbc.in/4xXBgMD

07/09/2026

⚠️ COMMUNITY SAFETY – PLEASE SHARE ⚠️

As everyone knows, Fat Dads United is a charity fundraising football club. We try to use football to bring people together, raise money and support the people of our town whenever we can.

After hearing about some extremely concerning incidents involving two young women in our town last night, we wanted to share a newly created community group aimed at helping women, young people and anyone who feels unsafe while out and about.

Please see the link here https://www.facebook.com/share/1Ef6hrJHow/?mibextid=wwXIfr

If you’re walking home, out alone, feel intimidated, think you’re being followed or simply don’t feel comfortable, please join the group and follow the instructions. The idea is that somebody nearby from the community may be able to come out, meet you, walk with you or help make sure you get somewhere safely.

We’re a football and charity group, not a political organisation, and we’re not interested in stirring up hatred or rumours. There are understandable concerns locally about recent arrivals into the area and reports of incidents circulating within the community, but whoever is responsible, nobody should be made to feel frightened walking around their own town.

Our message is simple:

Look after one another. Look after our women. Look after our children. Look after our community. ❤️

Please join and share the group so as many local people as possible know there is someone they can reach out to.

And importantly, if you believe you are in immediate danger, call 999 rather than relying solely on the group.

FAT DADS UNITED
Facing Adversity Together 💙⚽

This group is purely for the safety and wellbeing of women and children in Goole.

If you feel unsafe

06/09/2026

🚨⚽ FAT DADS SCOUTING REPORT: KANE FRENCH ⚽🚨

Today, four members of Fat Dads United made the trip down to West Park to check in on former Dad Kane French, now plying his trade for his new club, FC Howdens Academy.

For those who missed the transfer saga…

Kane left Fat Dads after informing us that, at the tender age of 22, he felt he still had plenty to offer the competitive game. Apparently charity football, dodgy knees and blokes needing a sit-down after 15 minutes just weren’t testing him enough anymore.

So, being the classy club we are, we granted his release, wished him all the best and waved goodbye to our very own Temu Scholesy. ❤️

Kane had also been confidently telling the lads that he was destined to be captain, first name on the teamsheet and the heartbeat of the Howdens midfield.

So naturally we arrived today expecting to see him leading the troops out…

He was on the bench.

Absolutely magnificent.

Eventually, in the 51st minute, the moment everyone had been waiting for arrived.

Kane French entered the field.

There was, however, one immediate problem.

After years of rummaging around the Fat Dads kit bag looking for XL and XXL, Kane has now entered the world of competitive football where apparently shirts come in sizes such as Small and Medium.

Something he clearly wasn’t prepared for.

That top was under more pressure than our defence defending a one-goal lead.

To be fair to him though, once somebody had finished vacuum-packing him into his kit, Kane actually did the business.

Playing in midfield a position we never trusted him anywhere near he managed to score TWO HEADERS FROM TWO CORNERS. ⚽⚽

We’re now questioning whether we completely wasted him at Fat Dads or whether Howdens have simply discovered the footballing equivalent of putting a fridge freezer in the opposition box.

The hat-trick was on…

The crowd were dreaming…

Kane was flying…

Then, in the 60th minute, just nine minutes after coming on…

HE SUBBED HIMSELF OFF.

Nine minutes of competitive football.

Two goals.

Job done.

There were then unconfirmed reports that washing-up liquid had to be applied to remove the shirt, before the v**e went straight back in his mouth to return his respiratory system to factory settings. 💨

So after all the talk about stepping up to competitive football, today’s Kane French experience consisted of:

Bench ✅
51st-minute appearance ✅
Shirt two sizes too small ✅
Two headers ✅
Nine-minute shift ✅
Self-substitution ✅
Immediate v**e recovery ✅

In fairness, two goals is two goals and we’re pleased to see the lad doing well…

But captain and first name on the teamsheet?

Maybe give it another week, Kane.

Once a Fat Dad, always a Fat Dad. ❤️⚽

05/09/2026

💙⚽️ MORE THAN A TOURNAMENT. A DAY FOR GAV. ⚽️💙

Goole VPG
Gates open at 10am
Bar open

On Sunday 13th September, Fat Dads United will have the honour of taking part in the Gav Broadhead Memorial Tournament, where we’ll be fielding two teams and doing everything we can to help raise as much money as possible in Gav’s memory.

For so many people in our town, Gav was far more than just someone who loved football.

He was a coach.
A mentor.
A friend.
A familiar face on the touchline.
And someone who gave his time to help young lads enjoy and fall in love with the game just as much as he did.

His passing last year, while playing the sport he loved, was absolutely heartbreaking and sent shockwaves through the local football community.

But while Gav may no longer be stood on the touchline, his impact is still there.

It’s there in the players he coached.
The people he helped.
The memories people share.
And in every person who turns up on Sunday to make sure his name and legacy continue to mean something.

That is what this day is about.

Not just goals.
Not just results.
Not just winning a tournament.

It’s about a town coming together for one of its own.

So please, if you can, come down and support the day.

Bring your kids.
Bring your parents.
Bring your friends.
Cheer on the teams, donate what you can and help us make this a day Gav would have been proud of.

After the football there will also be an after party at the NUR, giving everyone the chance to carry on the day together, share stories, raise a glass and remember Gav properly. 💙

Fat Dads United will be there with two teams, and every one of us will be proud to pull on the shirt for something much bigger than football.

Because football has an incredible way of bringing people together.

And on Sunday, it brings us together for Gav.

💙 For Gav. For his family. For his friends. For the whole community.

Let’s fill the place.

Let’s make some noise.

And most importantly…

Let’s make Gav proud. ⚽️💙

04/09/2026

🏆💙 WE’RE IN THE FINAL FOUR!!! 💙🏆

What a morning for Fat Dads United.

Today we were all tuned in to BBC Radio Humberside waiting to find out whether we’d made the final of the BBC Make a Difference Awards 2026…

And we are absolutely buzzing to announce…

WE’VE MADE IT! WE’RE DOWN TO THE FINAL 4! 😱🙌

Honestly, this is massive for our club.

When Fat Dads United started, we never imagined that in such a short space of time we’d be sitting here as finalists for an award recognising the difference we’re trying to make in our community.

Just being nominated was an achievement in itself. The fact that people took the time to put our name forward meant more to us than we can explain.

But to now be named as one of the final four is something we are incredibly proud of. ❤️

Every aching knee.
Every pulled hamstring.
Every Sunday morning where the body has begged us to stay in bed.
Every charity match.
Every fundraiser.
Every community event.
Every message of support.
Every single person who has worn the shirt, helped behind the scenes, donated, sponsored us or simply turned up to support us…

This is for all of you.

What started as a group of dads getting together to play football has become something much bigger.

A brotherhood.
A community.
A place where men can talk.
A place where families come together.
And hopefully, a club that continues to make a difference wherever we can.

Facing Adversity Together has never just been a slogan on our badge. It’s what this club is about. 💙

Whether we go on to win the award or not, nobody can take this away from us.

Fat Dads United — BBC Make a Difference Awards FINALISTS 2026.

That sounds absolutely ridiculous to even type. 😂❤️

From every single one of us at Fat Dads United, THANK YOU to everyone who nominated us, supported us and continues to believe in what we are doing.

We’re only two years into this journey…

And somehow, the Fat Dads are in the FINAL FOUR! 🏆

Whatever happens next, we’re already incredibly proud.

UTFD 💙⚽

03/09/2026

💙🏆 BBC HUMBERSIDE MAKE A DIFFERENCE AWARDS 🏆💙

Tomorrow’s a pretty big day for Fat Dads United… 👀

A few months ago, we found out that we had been nominated for the BBC Humberside Make a Difference Awards something that genuinely meant a lot to every single one of us.

And tomorrow morning, we find out whether Fat Dads United have made it through to the FINAL! 🤞🏆

Of course, we’d absolutely love to hear our name called out… but whether we make the final or not, we’re already incredibly proud.

To think that in just over two years, what started as a group of dads getting together for a kickabout has grown into something that people in our community feel is worthy of recognition like this is pretty special. ❤️

We’ve always said that Fat Dads United is about far more than football.

It’s about Facing Adversity Together.

It’s about men getting out of the house, talking, laughing, supporting one another, helping local families and charities, raising money for good causes and trying to make even the smallest difference in our community.

So to whoever took the time to nominate us thank you. 💙

Just being nominated is an achievement that every single person involved with this club should be proud of.

📻 We’ll all be listening tomorrow morning and we hope you’ll be listening with us!

Tune in to BBC Radio Humberside and keep everything crossed for the Fat Dads! 🤞💙

Whatever happens tomorrow…

We’re proud of how far this little club has come.

💙 FACING ADVERSITY TOGETHER 💙
⚽

01/09/2026

🚨💙 FAT DADS UNITED – ANOTHER ONE LEAVES THE BUILDING 💙🚨

At this point we’re genuinely considering changing the club name from Fat Dads United to Fat Dads Departed.

In the space of a few weeks we’ve lost:

Three defenders…
And now the bloody manager as well.

We are genuinely saddened to announce that Billy Robinson has decided to step away from Fat Dads United.

Unlike some recent departures this one actually hurts.

Billy isn’t just someone who pulled on the shirt.

He was one of the founders of the club.

From the original Snaith Soccer Sixes, when this whole thing started as a bunch of dads trying to play football without needing an ambulance on standby, Billy has been there helping build Fat Dads United into what it is today.

Unfortunately, after suffering a knee injury which has meant he can no longer play football, along with family commitments becoming more important, Billy feels now is the right time to step away.

And as much as we’d love to chain him to the gates at South Park, we completely respect his decision.

Billy, thank you for absolutely everything you’ve done.

The organising.
The ideas.
The messages.
The football.
The headaches.
The arguments.
The laughs.
And probably several hundred hours spent wondering why you ever agreed to be involved with this circus in the first place.

You’ve helped create something that has become far bigger than just a football team.

Fat Dads United has become about friendship, families, mental health, community and helping people who need it.

And you’ve played a massive part in making that happen. 💙

That being said…

We haven’t quite released you yet.

The club are currently trying to negotiate a new contract for Billy as:

🎪 Community Events Organiser
🏰 Fat Dads Fun Day Coordinator
🍔 BBQ Supervisor
🎟️ Raffle Ticket Executive
🪑 Chief Gazebo & Folding Table Officer

Basically we’re trying to find him a role where his knee isn’t required.

Whatever you decide mate, the door will always be open.

Once a Fat Dad, always a Fat Dad. 💙

And so begins a new era…

👑⚽ RAYMESSI HAS THE KEYS.

Raymond Sales will officially take over as manager of Fat Dads United.

A sentence which should probably strike fear into absolutely everybody associated with the club.

The man who has already transformed himself from free-kick specialist into Fat Dads’ answer to Pep Guardiola will now be responsible for team selections, tactics and somehow replacing half a defence that appears to have vanished quicker than Kane French when a younger football team came calling. 👀

Good luck, Ray.

You’re going to need it.

The rest of the lads working behind the scenes will remain in their roles and continue helping Ray and the club move forward.

Because while people come and go, what we’re trying to achieve doesn’t change.

We’ll keep playing football.

We’ll keep bringing dads and families together.

We’ll keep supporting our local community.

And we’ll keep raising as much money as possible for people and causes that need it.

Four departures in a matter of weeks…

At this rate the next Fat Dads transfer announcement will just be:

“Anyone got a pair of boots and a free Sunday?”

But the club keeps moving forward.

💙 Facing Adversity Together.

Thank you for everything, Billy.

You helped start this madness, and you’ll always be part of it. 💙⚽

01/09/2026

🚨🚨FAT DADS UNITED DEFENCE HAS COLLAPSED 🚨🚨

We’d like to officially announce that Fat Dads United are currently recruiting defenders, because apparently playing for us has become less appealing than having an actual life.

THREE DEFENDERS. THREE DEPARTURES. A MATTER OF WEEKS.

At this point we’re not a football team… we’re a development academy for clubs who want to nick our players.

So let’s review the casualties…

🫡 MATTY EASTWOOD — THE ORIGINAL SNAKE

First came Eastwood.

42 years old.

Retired from football.

Retired from Fat Dads.

Basically retired from anything involving physical activity.

The man saw a football pitch and thought, “Forget it, I’ve got Netflix.”

Apparently his body had finally reached the point where getting off the sofa was considered a sporting achievement.

He didn’t even leave us for another team.

HE JUST QUIT LIFE.

But fair play Matty — absolute legend of the club, even if he did leave us like a pensioner escaping an old people’s home.

⚽ JAMIE ADAMSON — THE OTHER ONE WHO FOUND AN EXCUSE

Then last week we lost Jamie Adamson.

Versatile left-back.

Reliable.

Committed.

Until his kids started playing football.

Suddenly he’s discovered that watching his children kick a ball around is more important than playing with a load of overweight dads who struggle to get through 90 minutes.

Can’t blame him really.

Although we’re still trying to work out how many kids he actually has because apparently one child’s football commitment is enough to retire.

Jay, you’ve been a brilliant servant to the club and we’ll always welcome you back.

But if you turn up at our training ground wearing another club’s tracksuit…

we’re keying your car.

💔 AND THEN THERE’S TEMU SCHOLESY… KANE FRENCH

And today…

The one that actually hurts.

Kane French.

AKA Temu Scholesy.

22 years old with 11 kids and apparently a burning desire to play competitive football.

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate that.

22.

ELEVEN CHILDREN.

Most lads his age are worrying about getting a mortgage.

Kane’s worrying about whether the minibus will fit all his kids in.

And after everything we’ve done for him…

He’s off.

We’ve managed his weight.

Sorted his meal plans.

Put him through individual training.

Worked with him.

Nurtured him.

Helped develop him into the player he is today.

We basically took a young, overweight defender and gave him the footballing equivalent of a full refurbishment.

Then Howden Development turned up and said:

“Cheers lads, we’ll take him from here.”

We’ve spent weeks carefully managing Kane’s diet only for him to leave and probably celebrate his transfer with a kebab, three cans of Monster and a family-sized bag of Haribo.

And let’s be honest…

Calling him Temu Scholesy was already generous.

Paul Scholes could see a pass.

Kane sees a Tesco meal deal.

Scholes controlled midfield.

Kane struggles to control his 11 children.

And yet somehow HE THINKS HE’S TOO GOOD FOR US.

The cheek of it.

But underneath all the p**s-taking…

We are genuinely gutted.

Kane has been a massive part of Fat Dads United and we’ve put a lot into helping him become the player he is today.

So while we’re absolutely going to rinse him for leaving…

We genuinely wish him the best at Howden Development.

Go and enjoy competitive football.

Go and prove us wrong.

Go and smash it.

But Kane…

If you score against us, we’re bringing Eastwood out of retirement just to break your ankles.

And if it doesn’t work out…

Don’t worry.

The door is always open at Fat Dads United.

We don’t hold grudges.

We just remember EVERYTHING. 👀

🛡️ SO… WE NEED DEFENDERS.

With Eastwood retired, Jay off watching kids’ football and Kane defecting to Howden, we’re now desperately looking for some new blood.

Are you a dad?

Is work doing your head in?

Haven’t played football for years?

Got a pair of boots gathering dust?

Put on a bit of timber since your playing days?

Think you’ve still got it?

PERFECT.

We aren’t looking for the next Virgil van Dijk.

We’re looking for someone who can run for more than 30 seconds without seeing their life flash before their eyes.

If you’re a dad, at a loose end, fancy getting back into football and want to join a bunch of absolute idiots who take football far too seriously…

COME DOWN TO A SESSION.

Have a laugh.

Meet the lads.

Dust those boots off.

See what you think.

Worst case scenario, you pull a hamstring.

Best case scenario, you become the next player to p**s off somewhere else in six months.

📩 Drop us a message if you’re interested.

FAT DADS UNITED ❤️⚽

And let’s be honest…

WE MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

We take overweight, washed-up dads, feed them, train them, make them fitter, turn them into decent footballers…

AND THEN OTHER CLUBS COME AND STEAL THEM.

At this point, we’re not Fat Dads United.

WE’RE A FREE RECRUITMENT AGENCY WITH A RAZZARS CAFE SPONSORSHIP.