Equip for Life Coaching

Some food for thought for your Monday. What is and is not yours to do this week? What are you carrying that you perhaps need to let go of? What can you Let others carry? And what is for you to do?

Let Me understand in this new season what IS mine to do and let go of what is not. I and I alone choose my response to when my plans are upended, and I can choose a positive get-to mindset whilst being flexible and realistic.

Accepting with kindness and grace when my body is rebelling and allowing more restorative and creative practices, which I need.

And choosing to give space and energy to those who matter most in this season.
More in my latest blog, link in bio.

Mel Robbins Let Them theory has taken the world by storm. She captures age old wisdom in a memorable way, allowing us clarity on what is and is not ours to do. Let Them respond as they will, we have no control over that. We have no control over the opinions, feelings, responses and thoughts of others.

But Let Me understand what IS mine to do. What I can control - my own response, my own behaviour.

How might that serve you this week? More in my latest blog, link in bio

Writing a recent blog series on knowing and respecting our needs and limits has been a salutary lesson in taking my own medicine. Sometimes I need to learn to pay heed to what I write.

I am in a very different season now to when I started my coaching business over 13 years ago. Parenting and caring responsibilities are very different, and I am learning to respect my body and not take it for granted when it decides to rebel. All this points to very different capacity and pace.

Learning to be curious without judgement, ask myself good questions and take the time to stop and reflect on how I am, what I need, and what is and is not mine to do are all important.

What about you?

For lots more food for thought, have a wee read of my latest blog on taking my own medicine, link in bio.

How are you doing this week? How well do you feel understood and how well do you understand those around you?

Pretty heavy question, I realise that. But I like to make people think.

When we understand and respect other people’s boundaries, and they are more likely to respect yours. This is about being open and curious, not judging and not projecting our own values or ideals onto the other person.

Believe in and respect yourself – who you are, what matters and what your limits are. Communicate that with those closest to you, and the risk of wrong expectations is reduced.

Each of us is unique, and fearfully and wonderfully made, to quote the Psalmist.

What is mine to do is to know and communicate my emotional needs to those I am closest to. And it is for me to listen to them communicate what they need. In so doing, we together do the work of creating space for deeper connection and mutual value and respect.

That sounds like the makings of a good week.

None of us are mind readers. Sad but true.

And yet how often do assumptions and expectations damage our communication and relationships? Understanding what is and is not mine to do helps:
What is mine to do? To notice and manage my own emotions. To be aware of my needs and to communicate them clearly and respectfully. To seek clarification before I jump in to fix, sort, control.

None of this is easy, but stopping to notice without judgement helps us learn how to make different choices.
Much more communicating our needs in my Boundaries blog series, link in bio.

Such a privilege doing this work! Huge thanks to the staff, volunteers and especially the participants of this recent course - for their courage and resilience, honesty and humour. We had a lot of fun, learned a lot and grew stronger and more confident together.

What do you know of the needs of those around you? How are they wired, compared to you? Those that you live, socialise and work with?

And how can you communicate your emotional needs to them, and learn to listen to theirs? We all have differing personalities and energy levels. We know this, of course, but it is not always easy to remember this when frustration or irritation creeps into the relationship. Clear communication about how we are and what we need helps us live with more grace, curiosity and objectivity towards each other.

Boundaries blog series - link in bio.

Having boundaries is healthy and necessary - boundaries protect what you know ie: who you are, your values, personality, resources and current capacity.

But how well do those who love you know your boundaries? Because if those around you don’t know or understand your current needs, limits and capacity, it is harder for them to respect your boundaries and the unique way you are wired. It is harder to build trust and deeper connection without that clear communication.

This too can be learned, as we practice saying with grace and with clarity: "this is what I need and this is what will help. What about you?"

More in my latest blog on the thorny subject of communicating our emotional needs. Link in bio.

I love working with Finding Your Feet Amputee Charity - such a fanstastic charity empowering and supporting their troopers and full of inspiring, innovative and resilient folk. I enjoy getting to use my physio background, and to work with folk who always make me stop and think, and not take anything for granted. Thanks to Alliance Scotland for funding this work.

A massive thank you to Health and Social Care Alliance Scotland for their Self Management for Life Fund. 💕 This has allowed us to put on these Equip for Life courses alongside course creator and host Catriona Futter of Equip for Life Coaching, for 3 years.

The sessions started off at our Paisley office to help amputees deeply reflect on their journeys in a supportive group environment, and improve their mental well-being. We’ve seen great results, and have continued to work with Catriona to provide feedback, develop the course, and finally allow our course attendees to then become the mentors for future amputees who could benefit from the support.

Our most recent programme was held through online meetings so we could reach further afield and start to deliver the course to amputees across Scotland. Thank you again to the ALLIANCE who have made this possible. 💝

In this season, what is missing that you need more of? What can be a YES this week?
What is there too much of that, for now at least, needs to become a NO?

What are your current needs, limits, responsibilities and priorities?
And what is one change you can make that supports you in living well in this season?

Food for thought as always, and lots more in my blog series on boundaries. Link in bio.