Alessandro Frosali Men's Coach

A man is instantly acting like a boy when he jumps in with “yea but she does it too”

I’m Alessandro the man that makes men into better husbands 💥 Follow if your marriage needs a better husband ☺️

Now before every husband jumps into the comments saying:

“No, trust me. She definitely hates my mother.”

Maybe.

But in my experience, your wife HATING your family that’s usually not the real problem.

The real problem is often who YOU BECOME around your family.

In her mind things are fine but when they enter the picture 🫟

Suddenly you stop setting boundaries.

Suddenly you start people pleasing.

Suddenly your mother’s needs come before your wife’s.

Suddenly you’re willing to inconvenience your marriage, your work, your health, and your plans because your family asked for something.

And your wife is left sitting there wondering...
“What happened to the man I married?”

Because she doesn’t feel like she’s competing with your family.
She feels like she’s losing you to them.

When a wife complains about your mother, your brother, your father, or your family in general...

The instinct is to defend them.
“They didn’t mean it.”
“That’s just how they are.”
“You’re overreacting.”

But sometimes she’s not actually talking about them.

Ask yourself whether she is talking about YOU

Maybe she is talking about the version of you that forgets his priorities.
The version of you that struggles to say no.
The version of you that abandons his new family to keep the old one happy.

Look, your wife doesn’t need to be your number one person because she’s entitled or needy

She becomes your number one person because that’s what e happens when you get married.

Your wife and children become the nucleus.

Your family of origin becomes extended family.

And many husbands ignore and never fully make that really fu***ng important transition.

So the next time your wife says she has a problem with someone from your family...
Pause before defending them.

And ask yourself the harder question:

Does she actually have a problem with them...
Or does she have a problem with who I become when they’re around?

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