Life Is Crafted

I used to think the 🤫 gesture meant ‘Hello!’ because that’s how my (loving but unaware) father would greet me every time I saw him during the day.

He worked in 5 star hotels around the world and we often lived in them as our home.

Logically I understand that you don’t want to see the daughter of the General Manager running and screaming in the lobby.

But toddler Arienne built a belief that she wasn’t allowed to express her feelings or needs. The needs of others were always much more important than hers. She had to shrink and dim herself to be acceptable to others 🥺 Hmmm, I wonder if it caused any of the issues I’ve had to deal with as an adult?!????

So…

For those of us who shrink.
Who sacrifice parts of ourselves to make others comfortable.
Who believe we are too much.
Or believe we are not enough.

Your wants. Your needs. Your personality. Your laugh. Your tears. Your thoughts. Your feelings. Your fears. Your shame. Your flaws. Your strengths. Your values. Your successes. Your ideas. Your opinions. Your body. Your style. Your presence. Your belonging. Your expression…

YOU - Your whole unique self - is allowed to take up space in this world.

This is a major lesson I’ve been learning over and over and over again. And I’m still learning and having many opportunities to exercise this muscle after a lifetime of playing ‘safe’ and small.

Little Arienne, you are allowed to be here, just as much as everyone else. You are so important. You are actually allowed to have your needs and wants expressed and met. You don’t need to be perfect and change who you are to make others comfortable. It is safe to be yourself. Not everyone will like you. That is life. YOU have to like you. You are with yourself every moment of every day. So, without doing harm to others, listen to yourself first.

If any of this resonates put a 🫵🏼 below ❤️❤️❤️

When you craft a life you love, you’re listening to that inner voice that is sharing with you its hopes, dreams and strengths.

You’re honouring it amongst all the messages, opinions, biases, cultural norms and societal standards that are shouting at you (often with love from those that really care about us).

You’re choosing Yourself in the midst of fear, worry, going against the grain, risk, challenges, differences. Bold and Brave!

You’re following your joy, recognising what inspires and lifts you up and prioritising what’s really important to you.

Such a big lesson I’m still learning. I recommit to it every day. It’s not always easy, but it gets easier with each opportunity to choose what the ‘real me’ wants.

As a people pleaser and lifelong chameleon🦎- changing the way I show up to make the people around me comfortable, often at the expense of my own comfort 🥴 - I’’ve made many choices that were not for my personal benefit because I thought that was the ‘right’ choice.

Unfortunately the cost of that was a lot of my self esteem and a big disconnection from my authentic self. I’ve rediscovered many of what MY needs and wants are and my life is ssoooooooooo much better for it!

Are there parts of your life where you could be bolder in designing a life YOU love?

Right?? They all pop into your head as you’re dropping off to sleep.

The worst is that one that that panic surges through your body and shocks you to full alertness 😬🤯🤦🏻‍♀️

An information capture system is a place where you can IMMEDIATELY take a note whenever a To Do comes up. It could be:
📝 a piece of paper you keep handy,
🗒️ a notebook you carry with you,
📆 your planner,
☑️ an App that handles tasks or reminders,
📲 notes in phone.

Capturing this information during the day means that your bed can become a magical place for sleep 🙌🏽💤😴🛌

Sweet dreams!!