Coates and Associates

I really enjoyed this chat with Kim, have a listen and comment. To buy my book head to www.lenacoates.com

If you’ve ever wondered if Confidence has no expiry date, this is for you!

What if confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t have… but something you build, one courageous step at a time?

In this deeply affirming conversation, I sit down with executive coach and author Lena Coates to explore the kind of confidence that is learned through experience, setbacks, self-belief, and bold new beginnings.

From walking away from a 28-year career and navigating what Lena describes as falling off a “cliff,” to starting her own business in her 60s, publishing her first book at 69, and even contemplating studying law in her seventies, this conversation is a powerful reminder that growth doesn’t have an age limit.

We unpack how confidence is formed through the very moments that shake us:

🌸 The career stumbles that become turning points.
🌸 The identities we outgrow.
🌸 The unhelpful “good girl” conditioning many women carry without realising.
🌸 And the courage it takes to back yourself when there’s no clear map.

This isn’t just a conversation about confidence.

It’s about reinvention, self-trust, speaking up, beginning again, and what is possible when you stop letting age, fear, or old stories define what comes next.

If you’ve ever questioned whether it’s too late, you’ve missed your window, or if there’s still another chapter in you waiting to be written, this beautiful conversation may be your answer. 🌟

Key takeaways:

o Why some of the biggest confidence breakthroughs can come after you’ve fallen off a metaphorical “cliff.”
o How one person saying “I need you” can redirect the course of your life.
o The hidden and unhelpful conditioning many women carry from being the “good girl”.
o How reinvention challenges your past beliefs about timing and aging.
o How the obstacles and mistakes we’d rather forget build our self-trust.
o Why confidence is less about certainty… and more about starting before you feel ready.

This episode invites you to question what dream you had declared as being ‘too late’, may still be calling you?

🎧 Tune into The Courageous Me Podcast, Ep 154. It’s never too late to crack the confidence code with Lena Coates.

Coates

Free confidence hack. Takes 5 minutes. No therapy required.

Before your next meeting do this:

Write down three things you want to say. Not a speech. Just three points where you intend to show up.

Walk through the door like you belong there. Because you do.

Say hello loud enough that people actually hear you. Not a mumble. Not a half-wave. A proper "hello everyone" that says I'm here.

Then contribute something in the first five minutes. A question. A thought. A comment. Anything that plants your flag and says — I have something to offer in this room.

That's it. That's the whole hack.

It's not about being the loudest. It's not about dominating the conversation. It's not about faking confidence you don't feel.

It's about being intentional with your presence.

Preparation plus visible entry. Every single time.

I coached a senior woman who was the most experienced person in every meeting she attended. Nobody knew. Because she entered quietly, waited her turn, and left without ever marking her ground.

We changed nothing about who she was. We just gave her this strategy.

Everything shifted.

Try it tomorrow. See what happens. Then come back and tell me.

Chapter 10 of Cracking the Confidence Code. You're welcome.

📖 Amazon Australia: https://www.amazon.com.au/Cracking-Confidence-Code-Lena-Coates/dp/B0GRCPRKY1

📖 All platforms: https://books2read.com/u/bOgd6Q

She had the qualifications. The experience. The track record. She'd worked in finance for reputable organisations and was formally qualified.

But she'd been home raising her kids for a few years. And somewhere along the way she'd decided that made her less.

She was getting interviews. Good ones. Final stage. But every rejection confirmed the story she was already telling herself — that too much time had passed. That she no longer belonged at the level she'd once worked.

When we started working together it became clear pretty quickly. The issue wasn't skill. It wasn't competence. It was the story running underneath everything.

"I've been out of the market too long." "They'll see me as less capable." "Everyone else has kept going and I stopped."

So we didn't rebuild her from scratch. We just showed her what was already there.

The years raising children? That's not a gap on a CV. That's evidence of resilience, organisation, responsibility, and the ability to manage absolute chaos on zero sleep.

Her career break didn't erase her experience. It sat alongside it.

We went through every point where her confidence faltered and gently challenged the assumptions underneath. One by one.

She described it as a lightbulb moment. Not dramatic. Just quietly powerful.

She stopped apologising for her story and started owning it.

She got the role.

Sometimes confidence isn't about learning something new. It's about remembering what you forgot you already knew.

Chapter 4 of Cracking the Confidence Code covers this — how confidence erodes quietly and how it's rebuilt the same way. Step by step.

📖 Amazon Australia: https://www.amazon.com.au/Cracking-Confidence-Code-Lena-Coates/dp/B0GRCPRKY1

📖 All platforms: https://books2read.com/u/bOgd6Q

Pick a Number. Be Brutally Honest. No One's Watching.

Alright let's play a game.

Rate yourself out of 10 for each of these. Be honest. Nobody's judging. We're all in this together.

Ready?

Saying no without writing a 3-paragraph justification email afterwards — ?/10

Accepting a compliment without deflecting it into outer space — ?/10 ("Oh this old thing? I got it on sale. It's actually not that nice. I don't even like it that much.")

Sharing your opinion BEFORE asking everyone else theirs first — ?/10

Walking into a networking event without immediately scanning for the nearest exit — ?/10

Believing your experience counts even without a fancy degree behind your name — ?/10

Looking in the mirror and not starting a full blown argument with your own reflection — ?/10

Bonus round:

Posting your answer in the comments without overthinking it for 20 minutes — ?/10
If any of those made you laugh nervously — same.

If you scored yourself low on more than half — also same.

If you read number 6 and thought "I feel personally attacked" — welcome to the club. I'm the president. I've been there on every single one of these. So have most of the brilliant, capable, accomplished women I've coached over the years.

The problem was never ability. It was never talent. It was never intelligence.

It was confidence. And nobody ever showed us how to build it.

That's exactly why I wrote Cracking the Confidence Code: Show Up, Speak Up and Stand Strong. Not a pep talk. A practical toolkit for women who are more than capable but somehow still asking themselves "am I enough?"

Spoiler: you are.

Drop your numbers below. Let's see who's brave enough to go first. 👇

📖 Amazon : https://www.amazon.com.au/Cracking-Confidence-Code-Lena-Coates/dp/B0GRCPRKY1

This is my mum, Grace.

Five days ago I launched my book. There were flowers, speeches, tears (mine), and a room full of people who have carried me through every chapter of my life — literally and figuratively.

But this moment right here? This one got me.

I gave Mum a copy of Cracking the Confidence Code. She put on her glasses, picked it up, and started reading it right there. No fuss. No fanfare. Just — "let me have a look at this then."

Classic Grace.

The woman who taught me everything I know about resilience didn't do it with speeches or strategies. She did it by showing up. Every single day. For everyone. Without complaint. Without recognition. Without ever once asking for credit.

She's the reason the word Grace appears with a capital G throughout this book. Not just a word. A name. Her name. A dedication to the woman who showed me what quiet strength actually looks like.

She's in aged care now. Still making the staff laugh. Still surprising us. Still tougher than the lot of us combined.

Watching her hold a book with my name on it — a book that exists because of what she taught me — was the highlight of my entire launch night.

Love you, Mum. Always.

📖 Cracking the Confidence Code: Show Up, Speak Up and Stand Strong is out now.

Amazon Australia: https://www.amazon.com.au/Cracking-Confidence-Code-Lena-Coates/dp/B0GRCPRKY1

All other platforms: https://books2read.com/u/bOgd6Q

So. That happened. 🥲

Yesterday Cracking The Confidence Code went live and I'm still processing it. I kept refreshing my phone like a maniac. Every notification. Every DM. Every "just ordered!" message. I felt all of it.

Can I be honest with you for a second?

I almost didn't publish this book.

Not because the content wasn't ready. It was. But because that little voice — yeah THAT one — the same one I literally wrote an entire book about — whispered "Who are you to write this? Someone's already said it better."

Sound familiar?

I hit publish anyway. Not because the voice stopped. But because I stopped letting it drive.

And that's the whole point of this book in one sentence.

You don't wait for the doubt to disappear. You move WITH it.

Yesterday was day one. But this book isn't about one day. It's about what you do with chapter one at midnight when no one's watching. It's about the exercise on page 47 that makes you uncomfortable. It's about the script you rehearse in your car before walking into that meeting.

The real work starts now. For both of us.

If you grabbed your copy yesterday — start tonight. Even just chapter one. Then come back and tell me which line hit you first. I want to know. Seriously.

If you haven't grabbed it yet — today works too. Link in bio. No rush. But also… why wait? 😏

This is just the beginning.

Well it’s done and dusted after some long days, my book Crack The Confidence Code is launched
And available to buy,

A big thank you to the Societe who supported me and my launch. I was honoured to do so at their inaugural International Womens Day event. For associations like this, it’s the way forward, to offer their community and wider community events of this calibre providing diversity and inclusion.

It was attended by approximately 90 men and women with some exciting speakers who spoke about the theme Balance The Scales. I was proud to attend with so many of my family, cousins and friends there. I hope my nieces and nephews view me as an example of what one can achieve.

IT'S HERE. IT'S ACTUALLY HERE. 😭🎉

Cracking The Confidence Code is officially LIVE on Amazon and all major retailers RIGHT NOW.

This book started as a whisper. A thought that wouldn't leave me alone. A question I kept hearing from women everywhere — "How do I actually become more confident when no one ever taught me how?"

So I wrote the answer.

10 chapters. 40+ exercises. Research-backed strategies from the minds of Bandura, Dweck, van der Kolk. Real stories from real women. Scripts you can use TONIGHT. Movie moments that'll make you see yourself differently.

This isn't a book that tells you to "just believe in yourself" and leaves you hanging. This is the toolkit. The playbook. The thing I wish someone had handed me years ago.

And now it's yours.

To every woman who's ever felt too much and not enough in the same breath — this was written for you. Every single page.

To everyone who pre-ordered, shared, commented, sent me DMs saying "I need this" — YOU made this happen. I don't have big enough words for how much that means.

Today isn't just a book launch. Today is proof that small beats grand. That progress beats polish. That showing up — even shaking — still counts.

So here we go. No more waiting. No more permission.

Show up. Speak up. Stand strong.

📖 Grab your copy

Tag someone who NEEDS this book. She's reading this right now and doesn't know it's for her yet. 👇

Let's get real for a second. This book isn't for everyone. It's for a very specific woman. See if she sounds familiar. 👇

This book is for you if:

→ You've been told "be more confident" with zero instructions on how — like that's supposed to be helpful
→ You've stared at an opportunity and talked yourself out of it because of ONE missing skill on a list of twenty you already nailed
→ You've watched someone else get credit for YOUR idea… and said nothing → You've started sentences with "Sorry, but…" and wished you could take it back the second it left your mouth
→ You've felt invisible in rooms where your experience should make you the most qualified person at the table
→ You've confused being busy with being fulfilled — and deep down you know the difference
→ You've stayed quiet during salary negotiations because asking for more felt "greedy"
→ You know you're capable — but something keeps holding you back and you can't name it

Read that list again. If even ONE hit home? This was written with you in mind.

You're not broken. You were never shown how.

This book IS the how.

Cracking The Confidence Code — out March 12.

This book started as one of those self help books to validate what I did. Along the journey it became so much more personal as it recounts my life journey and others I have met along (without naming names) the way who have experienced confidence difficulties. One thing I know looking back can often determine how you will react in the future. This book gives you the opportunity really think about that and react to situations the way you really want to. Hope you enjoy your journey of reading it when it’s released on the 12th.

So you wanna know what's actually inside Cracking The Confidence Code? Let's break it down. 👇

STAGE 1 — Understand & Redefine Confidence (Because the version you were sold? Not it.)

STAGE 2 — Rebuild Through Resilience & Choice (Where the real rewiring happens.)

STAGE 3 — Apply Confidence in Life, Work & Leadership (This is where you stop reading about it and start living it.)

We're talking 10 chapters. 40+ practical exercises. Research backed by Bandura, Dweck, van der Kolk — the heavy hitters who actually studied how confidence works in the brain and body.

Real stories from real women who've been in the trenches. Movie moments from Moonstruck to Rocky that hit different when you see them through a confidence lens. Word-for-word scripts you can pull out before your next meeting, negotiation, or hard conversation.

Here's what you WON'T find: ❌ "Just believe in yourself" ❌ Toxic positivity dressed up as advice ❌ Some dramatic reinvention storyline

Here's what you WILL: ✅ Small beats grand. ✅ Progress beats polish. ✅ You don't need permission — you need tools.

Consider these pages your toolkit. Built for the woman who's done waiting to feel ready.

🗓️ Out March 12.